TamraJustification
October 17th 2006 13:23
I was recently on one of my local Mom Message Boards and there's an entire thread of stupid things people have said to the women in our group. Everything from "NO shoes and socks?" to a Mom who's baby took them off INSIDE A WARM ROOF-COVERED MALL, to "You better stop now" to a pregnant Mom who was expecting her 4th.
It's ASININE to me why anyone would put up with these sorts of comments. When I was pregnant with Thomas, a friend of the family (a woman) said to me, "Wow, you're huge!"
"Wow," I replied, "That was rude."
She stammered to apologize, but it was lost on me. I was more entertained with her embarrassment.
Inappropriate questions from people also irk me. When asked about anything regarding parenting that sounds as though it's going to end in judgement, I'm confident in answering the question with this question: "Why do you want to know?"
Don't put up with it, parents. You don't have to justify your parenting choices to anyone.
What's the rudest situation you've encountered? How did you handle it? How would you handle it now?
It's ASININE to me why anyone would put up with these sorts of comments. When I was pregnant with Thomas, a friend of the family (a woman) said to me, "Wow, you're huge!"
"Wow," I replied, "That was rude."
She stammered to apologize, but it was lost on me. I was more entertained with her embarrassment.
Inappropriate questions from people also irk me. When asked about anything regarding parenting that sounds as though it's going to end in judgement, I'm confident in answering the question with this question: "Why do you want to know?"
Don't put up with it, parents. You don't have to justify your parenting choices to anyone.
What's the rudest situation you've encountered? How did you handle it? How would you handle it now?
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Comment by Anonymous
Another time, I was at Starbucks, and I was pregnant. I ordered a coffee and the man looks right at my stomach and asked snottily "A DECAF latte?" and I said "Uh... NO" When he handed me my changes, I said "Thank you, Mr. Assumptions"
Comment by Anonymous
My oldest is very, VERY small. We are at the pediatricians every 3 months for a weigh in and height check, we've done all the blood work, etc. etc. she's just really freaking tiny. Below the 3rd percentile on the height and weight charts. Destined to be about 4'8" tall, near as they can figure. She eats very well, everything under the sun, from sushi to brussell sprouts... everything. She just doesn't grow.
So my favourite rude comments are when someone asks us how old she is, are told, and say "Oh! Well what's wrong with her then?"
I've gotten this probably a dozen times. Because you know, I don't second guess myself enough, I suppose. I also love the ones from closer friends about what size she's in, who then instantly follow up with "Well when MY kids were that age they were wearing 6X!"
Honestly, what is with the indignation over my daughters size? She's bright, HEALTHY, cute and smart as a whip! She'll be in a booster seat until she's twelve, but ... until something medical actually turns up what exactly am I supposed to do?
Comment by Wendi
When out with my son once, someone told me my brother was cute. When he said he was my son, not my brother, I was looked at oddly and the guy said, "Aren't you a bit young to be having children?" - And trust me, it wasn't a come on or a compliment.
When my first child was born, he had what's called "baby acne". I'd never seen it before, but I understood it was temporary and dealt with it. However, people in public were not so kind and wanted to know how I had a baby with zits. That was hurtful.
My second son wasn't freed from public riducule, either. A mixed race child, people always wanted to comment on his skin tone and even suggested I use a stronger sun screen when letting him out to play. One person pushed the envelope a bit too far and used extremely derogatory racial comments while questioning my choice in partners.
My youngest is a girl and was born eight pounds, twelve ounces. She was always a "robust" baby, but I absolutely HATED it when people would comment, "Oh, look at her little fat rolls! Aren't they cute?"
I'd usually forsake politeness at that point and reply, "Almost as cute as yours!" Fortunately for them, I resisted the urge to pinch their fat little cheeks! *LOL*
I get criticism all the time, though. We're an unconventional family. My kids are homeschooled, which invites a TON of unwanted commentary, and we're also vegetarians, so there's "harping" on that as well. It frustrates me to no end!
And here's a thought I'll start and not finish because it could go on forever.... what about when an extended family member such as a grandparent or aunt decides their religion is more appropriate for your child than the one you've chosen and choose to force their opinions continuously???
Comment by Candice
Another one that irks me no end is the question, "Are you having another one?" For one, it's none of your business. For two, I'm not about to reveal all my personal life to someone I hardly know. The minute my baby was born I got this question. And I get it repeatedly from complete strangers to friends (though not from close friends or family thankfully).
I don't know whether I'll be having another baby for a variety of reasons that are very personal. I'd love to know a good response to give to this one.
Comment by KarenR
Karen