TamraPassion V Obsession
May 23rd 2008 13:41
Who hasn’t dreamt of their children being up on stage at the Opera House, or competing in the Olympics or accepting a prize for something wonderful they’ve achieved. But at what cost?
We were at a rep cricket presentation the other night. For our under 10 year old. Please keep those sympathies coming in. Anyway, I found it pretty interesting. Watching all those hopeful, young pre-pubescents standing around, the question that kept reverberating around the walls, for me anyway, was how far does one push or take a passion for a child before it becomes an obsession – an exclusion of all else?
Sport, art, drama, any extraneous activity that your child is drawn to can have a seductive pull. If it’s sport the bonus is they’ll probably be healthy. If it’s art, they’ll produce something cool to hang on the walls. If it’s drama, they’ll probably be able to perform on command, or at least get a job at Dendy cinemas or waiting tables. I jest. But the thing is, do you cultivate this passion, leaving behind all else in its wake to help your child reach their utmost potential, or do you simply indulge it occasionally whilst still trying to balance it with other activities?
Phil Hughes the second youngest entrant into a state cricketing side was there presenting trophies. He outlined how he was pretty much obsessed with cricket as a youth. His father’s throwing arm gave way at some point, after about the 5 billionth throw and they purchased a ball-throwing machine – yep, a ball-throwing machine – in Macksville! At what point do you say, my child has a gift and a passion for something and it would be irresponsible not to fully support it? Do you wait for the arm to give out, or do you get in early while you still have a limb?
Remember Pat Rafter, of course you do, well he has millions of other lesser known siblings. Well a few anyway. And I recall him saying the whole family had to get behind his sport, mum and dad dedicating time to drive him back and forth to comps, brothers helping to train him, sisters helping too, so when did they make that decision? When did Pat’s talent dictate the terms?
Did you see Wayne Carey on Andrew Denton’s Enough Rope? The tragedy was that here was a person of incredible sporting talent who had only ever gained attention and Kudos for doing one thing. Now that that was over, he was gaining attention for all the wrong things. Had his limited or limiting childhood contributed to his downfall? If he had been taken aside by someone, shown some other skills would it have potentially provided him with a way forward after football?
The demise of a sporting legend isn’t pretty but there is obviously life after on-field, in-pool, etc. It’s just how that person is able to cope with the lustre gone, the highs reduced to normal, balanced life after all. And is this ultimately the parent’s role - to prepare their child for life before and after or simply to set up the opportunities and see how the child ‘becomes’ their own man or woman?
Sport is such a competitive field now parents are sending videos of their under 9 sons to England to try and get a gig at prestigious training camps. Just watch, next it will be your darling’s ultrasound videos sent to the Institute of Sport to assess arm length and potential leg heft…
Well, while we try and cultivate the ‘renaissance man’ and add a bit of chess and music and some goofing off time in there, we may be holding him back, but as a family we believe in all things being of merit and interesting. Not least of which is family fun time. But you never know…you just never know… Tamra x
| 123 |
| Vote |
